Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Dating As a Single Mom Is the Same as Dating as a Teenager

Sunday morning I had brunch with my brother Josh and sister-in-law Susan. They're in their early 30s, don't have kids, stay out late, and sleep in on weekends. In other words: They're normal. Susan grilled me about my date from the night before while my little brother pretended he'd lost his hearing.
"We went for Ethiopian food in the Village and then he drove me home," I said.
"Why didn't you invite him up?" Susan asked.
"Are you crazy? The kids and the babysitter were there."
"So what, he got to second base in the car and then you were home by midnight?"
"Basically, yes!"
"Oh my God. That is so funny. And that's so early!"
I felt a little defensive about my single mommy lifestyle. Because, really, what can you do? But then I realized that dating as a single parent is kind of horrible and awesome in the same way that being a teenager is horrible and awesome. In fact, while necking in his four-door sedan (car seats in back) my single-dad love interest and I were laughing about all the ways that dating as a parent is the same as dating in high school: It can be tricky to find alone time, everyone's finances are limited and you often have to answer to the scrutiny of parental figures. After all, had I ushered my date upstairs Saturday, I'd have had to face Karen, our beloved long-time babysitter who serves as a surrogate grandmother to my kids and me. What would she think?
My friend Sarah is a professional single mom whose ex lives out-of-state -- drastically limiting her child-free hours, and forcing her to turn to babysitting from her mother in order to get laid. Tapping her inner teenager, Sarah always lies to her mom about her whereabouts when she goes out with men, lest she get "the third degree about whether he'd make a good father."
"I don't want to lie, but I also don't want to deal with the judgement," Sarah told me. And so she obeys her mom's rules-or else she pays the price. "I told one guy I went out with that we'd be skipping dinner and going straight to sex because I had to be home by 11:30," she said. In my case, I was acutely aware that every minute spent making out in that car also came at a price -- the cold, hard hourly rate paid to Karen.
The upside of all this finagling and sneaking and financing is that it collectively mounts the lusty, torturous tension lacking in readily available sex. Like, for example, in marriage. In other words, sex as a single mom can be unbelievably hot. Which was probably not the case when we were in high school.
But Sarah and I agreed that sex isn't the only part of dating that makes us feel like we're in 10th grade again. I nearly didn't publish this post. I mean, what if my date reads it and feels betrayed or embarrassed and doesn't call me again? I mean, OMG, I would totally DIE, cuz I like totally like him! But like, would it be my fault? I mean, he knows I blog about my life or whatever, so, like, whatever!?
This post originally appeared at

Monday, September 16, 2013

Top 5 Ways to Get Back Into Dating After a Breakup

5 ways to get back into dating after breakup by sparkology best dating site
Going through a breakup sucks. A lot. And yes, the first thing you probably want to do is curl up into a ball, watch reruns of Friends, and have Seamless send you dinners while Taskrabbit picks up new boxes of Kleenex... But after the mandatory mourning comes to a close, the only way to truly move on is to meet new people (gasp!).
Some go into a shy, hesitation-filled shock. After all, you haven't dated in months, years(maybe even a decade!! double gasp!!). Others think they "still got it" and boldly hit on anything that moves only to strike out.
It's a pretty dismal scene... so Alex (founder of Sparkology, the invite-only dating site for young professionals) and Bella (founder of NeverLikedItAnyway, the place to sell once-loved gifts from once-loved lovers) have assembled the five ways to go back from break-up to romance:

Rule 1: Find New Scenery (Alex)

Generally speaking, relationships are synonymous with routine. This is your time to bust out. Go to new places, museums, bookstores, coffee shops while also reconnecting with single friends (who probably haven't seen you in months).

Rule 2: Don't Date Someone Who Resembles Your Ex (Bella)

You may have a type... but trying to fill the void with a replica of your past lover will only remind you of old times. You'll do your head in constantly comparing the new guy to the old and most importantly, you won't give the new guy a the chance he deserves. Not sure where to find your new man? Try Sparkology.

Rule 3: Invest in Yourself (Alex)

For better or worse, people in relationships often let themselves slack. From gaining a few pounds to neglecting your dance lessons to letting the wardrobe fade, you've probably neglected some part of your personal development simply because a large part of your focus (and resources!) were spent on the relationship. Now is your time to reinvest in yourself. Take a pizza making class, attend a wine tasting, or go on a weekend yoga retreat... these fun activities both lift your spirits and make you more interesting when meeting new people.

Rule 4: Get Excited About the Date, Not The Guy (Bella)

This sounds a trifle mean, but if you can't seem to get excited about the new fish you've plucked from the sea, get excited about the places you'll go! Most likely, a lot has changed since you last dated. All sorts of things have opened up - theatres, restaurants,bars and even bike lanes. Try seeing your date as a ticket to discovery. In the immortal words of Dr Seuss, 'oh the places you'll go... you'll be on your way up"!

Rule 5: Ex-orcise Your Home (Bella)

Cleaning out is cathartic, even when you havent had a breakup! Removing any ex-iconography from your home is the first step to moving on. I know you want to keep little mementoes, but these will subconsciously hold you back. Get a friend round to come over and help you sort through the photos, sweatshirts, artwork, toothbrushes (ew), jewelry and any other ex-collateral in sight. Either throw it out or, even better, sell it on NeverLikedItAnyway. Also, try rearranging your furniture, move your bed, rotate your couch... do anything to change your scenery!

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Wednesday, September 4, 2013

6 Easy Ways for Men to Be More Attractive!

Men are just as affected by the media’s standard of beauty and attractiveness as women are. It’s hard to be successful at dating when women are looking for men who are “tall, dark, and handsome” and ideally, look like Bradley Cooper.

If you want to make yourself more attractive to women, and increase your dating success rate, it’s easier than you think! I have listed six tips for being more attractive; some require moderate effort, but I have included instant tips as well!

Instant Tricks

1. Smile!

A lot of women say that a man’s smile is his most attractive feature. So, this tip is as simple as that – smile more! And if you’ve got less than glistening pearly whites, why not invest in some tooth whitening toothpaste and mouthwash? They are not that much more expensive than the non-whitening ones and they totally still work. You don’t need to spend a fortune on the strips that will do it in 48 hours – just whiten gradually and eventually you’ll have a bright white smile to show off!

2. Sit Up Straight

Seriously. A good posture makes you look leaner, taller, and more approachable. Just check out the difference in a mirror. Make a conscious effort not to slouch and follow proper posture positions. For standing, your feet should be shoulder width apart, your thigh muscles in use without locking your knees, your chest lifted, your shoulders down and back, your chin level, and your weight should mostly be on the balls of your feet, not your heels. For sitting, your feet should be resting on the floor with your knees and hips bent at 90 degrees, your chest should be lifted, and your chin should be level. Do not cross your legs, and do not slouch or lean forward! BONUS: Good posture also helps improve organ function, reduces neck/shoulder/back tension, increases mental performance, and prevents “hump back”and “beer belly”. If there’s one tip that will help instantly improve your dating success, this is it.

A Little More Effort…

3. Manscape

I’m not saying go full on wax and shave here (seriously, chest hair stubble is not cool) – just trim what needs to be trimmed. No one wants to see your back hair flowing over the top of your t-shirt. And once you are dating, you’re not going to find too many ladies who will be super receptive to a giant man bush if they go down on you. Plus, trimming back the hair down there will make you look bigger (less hair covering up your length) and will help with repeat customers in the oral pleasure department.

4. Make Your Facial Hair Work For You

Facial hair can do a lot to a person’s face. It can make you look clean cut, wild and unruly, or, let’s face it, it can make you look like a douche. If you’re really serious about dating and find a lady, this is a big one to pay attention to. If you have a chubbier face, growing a well-kept beard can give the illusion of a stronger jaw line, where as having a more angled face can be complimented nicely with a slight hint of stubble. But whatever you do, stay away from the “chin strap” and the amish beard.

Now You’ve Got It!

5. Put On Your Big Boy Shoes

Good style is important to women in the dating pool. And one of the biggest indicators of a man of style is good footwear. Nice shoes are also associated with a successful business life, so by wearing nice shoes, you’re promoting thoughts of success. Not to mention that a lot of dress and business shoes will give you a half inch lift! If you’re wearing flip flops, or God forbid, Crocs… you have no hope. And avoid wearing running shoes unless you’re at the gym.

6. Get Styled

Any savvy man in the dating world knows that great hair style goes hand in hand with good fashion sense. Once you’ve got good shoes, you need good hair. Do some research, ask your friends what they think, and for the love of God spend more than $30 on a hair cut. It DOES make a difference. A great hair dresser can make or break you. And they can help you understand your hair and what will look best for you; haircuts that look great on some may not look good on you. Once you get that amazing cut, spend time each morning giving it some love. Change shampoos. Buy some styling products (NOT DIPPITY-DO, GUYS. C’mon). You’ll be amazed at how much this one affects your success with ladies. We love great hair. And now that you’ve got style covered on the top and the bottom, it’s only a matter of time until you gradually get styled from head to toe.
And my final tip is to pay attention. Pay attention to current fashion trends. Pay attention when your lady friends say, “I think this would totally look good on you!” Pay attention to what things you’re wearing/doing when you receive compliments. And pay attention to yourself, what you’re doing, and how you look. There’s so many little things you can do to make yourself look better, and they take very little effort. Imagine what you could do if you actually put time into it! Follow these tips and you’ll be a dating pro in no time!

Thanks to for this article!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Is She Really Interested In You?

One for the guys here!

When you've not dated for a while, you sometimes forget the obvious signs.

This video gives a few tell tale signs that shows that she's interested.

Now go try it out!